talking to?

I finally put it all out there and was shocked at the reception.  Nothing really, just listening and I envisioned a shake of the head on the other end of the line.  Strange all these years I've wanted the great revenge, the dramatic walk the plank- but that didn't happen- just a simple pattern of listening and knowing.  Shock lurked beneath the veneer of pleasant conversation.  Borrowing a term from CK, Incestry...my Incestry was spoken heard and not defended.  I fell over due to the anticipation...I love the ring for its exposure.
I put the punch way out there, and they found their back and a way to let me in.

Gone Fishin

Been away for a bit.  These perception shifts are hard on me...taking me to the edge screaming and crying.  Fists pounding to a frantic, stop it beat.  My head hurts, don't know where I am, must blame someone, anyone, there must be hell to pay.  It eases up, the picture gets a little clearer...not as bad as I originally thought.  Ready to go round again. 

Away

I got away from all this.  I quit and started and quit and started again.  My family a source of pain and joy, aren't all like that?  Finally I got to tell someone, he did this, yes, he did.  His inappropriate comments, they aren't just benign.  They happen over and over again and he thinks it is normal.  My body was a vessel, his an instrument with a painful entry that has lasted 40 years.  Truths coming out and breathing big at the surface....tears well up stopping me from going deeper.  Resistance my cross I have bared for years, yielding the cross I now bare, bear, bare..........which is it?  My dog sleeps peaceful, she knows, she feels, she protects and yields in ways I envy.  Separate and alone by choice, just one moment, one perception shift could move it all to a completely different realm.  My thoughts, black and white becoming conceptual.  I want to feel like someone is holding my hand, stroking my hair-  abandonment gone, abandonment here.

Roots

Root canal, back to Italian roots, at the root of it all, going to the core and digging up the roots.