Away

I got away from all this.  I quit and started and quit and started again.  My family a source of pain and joy, aren't all like that?  Finally I got to tell someone, he did this, yes, he did.  His inappropriate comments, they aren't just benign.  They happen over and over again and he thinks it is normal.  My body was a vessel, his an instrument with a painful entry that has lasted 40 years.  Truths coming out and breathing big at the surface....tears well up stopping me from going deeper.  Resistance my cross I have bared for years, yielding the cross I now bare, bear, bare..........which is it?  My dog sleeps peaceful, she knows, she feels, she protects and yields in ways I envy.  Separate and alone by choice, just one moment, one perception shift could move it all to a completely different realm.  My thoughts, black and white becoming conceptual.  I want to feel like someone is holding my hand, stroking my hair-  abandonment gone, abandonment here.